Who hasn’t come across a romance scammer and how many have fallen for those frauds? Men and women have lost their hearts and large amounts of money to those online romance scammers, falling victim to the catfishing nets.
I have also fallen for one of them who pretended to be a person from my past; someone who even had the photos to prove it, and the job the real person had been studying for in the past. How that guy did that is beyond me … Although there were warning signs that it was a scammer and I was very well aware of the frauds out there, and I had never fallen for any of it before, I did fall for that one because I was convinced that he was someone I had known 18 years earlier.
A year later and a little wiser, I was invited to another poetry slam, and I came up with the idea to write a piece about catfishing. It is incredible how stupid those scammers sometimes are, setting up fake movie star profiles on Twitter and actually thinking that we believe those stars are contacting us. How many of you have gotten friend requests from “Tom Hanks” or “Keanu Reeves”? Lol.
While some of those scammers are foolish up to the point of being ridiculous, others are quite clever and have outsmarted some of the smartest people. I hardly trust anyone online and yet, I fell for it too.
So, here it is, my newest piece. I wrote the original version in Spanish. I will translate it to English here, although it may not always rhyme when translated or come out the same, but I’ll do my best 😉
When I presented this poem at the last poetry slam, I made the audience laugh, which had been my intention. Since I am not reading it to you out loud with my facial expressions and different tones of voice, it may have a slightly different effect, but I hope that it will at least bring a smile to your face 🙂 I wanted to show you a video of my performance, but the person who filmed it didn’t press the record button … 😉 So, next time I’ll do better 🙂
Why do they give fake internet love that name?
is it because the cat fish takes the bait and holds on, biting again and again?
Until you give it a prize?
How many have not fallen
in the catfishers’ nets?
How sweet how beautiful, they swear love forever
After only two days
They promise a life together
After only a week
They plan their first visit
Ha! Only if you give them money
Because the poor guy made up a whole drama
to take away your cash
How sweet, how beautiful
those who greet you on social media
With those profiles of “honest” and “hardworking” men
“Surgeon”, “general”, or “doctor”
“Simple”, and “be happy”
With just 1 tweet and 0 followers
All those “soul mates” on Twitter and Instagram
I’ve blocked those “loves” one by one
Now what will I do if there are no more left?
Will I run out of them one day?
And don’t remind me of all the “opportunities” I’ve lost
Man, how they play with love
How many superstars look for me on Twitter
How could I refuse them?
Tom Cruise faced a mission impossible
to obtain an answer from me
With speed, I kicked out Keanu Reeves
I gave Prince Harry the royal silent treatment
Tom Hanks didn’t even offer me a box of chocolates,
but he asked me for money
Robert Downey Jr. oh, if only he were Ironman for real …
All those chances for eternal love
that I wasted in a chat
So, girls, and boys
Be very careful with catfishing on the net
If Leonardo Di Caprio talks to you
Or boys, if Emma Stone is looking for you
If no one ever warned you before
I’m telling you now,
Press that button
Block, block, and block
And better go out to a bar
Por qué lo llaman asi al amor falso en internet?
Porque el pez gato se aferra, mordiendo una y otra vez?
Hasta que le des su premio?
Cuantos no han caído
En las redes de los catfishers …?
Que lindo, que bonito, juran amor para siempre
Después de solo dos días
Prometen juntos una vida
Despues de una semana
Planean su primera visita
Ha! Solo si les mandas dinero
Porque el pobre invento todo un drama
Para quitarte tu lana
Que lindo, que bonito
Los que te saludan en las redes sociales
Con esos perfiles de hombre “honesto y trabajador”
“cirujano”, “general”, o “doctor”
“Simple” y “be happy”
Con solo 1 tweet y 0 seguidores
A todos los “almas gemelas” en Twitter y Instagram,
Los he bloqueado, a estos “amores”
Ahora, que haré si ya no quedan mas?
Algun dia se acabarán?
Y no me digas las “oportunidades” que perdi
Pero como juegan con lo de amar …
Cuantos famosos en Twitter me buscan a mí
Como los puedo rechazar?
A Tom Cruise le parecio una misión imposible
Obtener una respuesta de mi
A Keanu Reeves lo saque con máxima velocidad
A Principe Harry le di el tratamiento royal silencioso
Tom Hanks ni siquiera me ofrecio una caja de chocolates
Pero me pidio dinero
Robert Downey Jr. , ay, si solo fuera Ironman de verdad …
Todas las oportunidades para el eterno amor
Que desprecie en un chat …
Entonces, chicas, y chicos
Con el catfishing, mucho cuidado
Si les habla Leonardo Di Caprio
O chicos, si los busca Emma Stone
Si nadie antes les advirtió
Yo les digo ahora,
Presione ese botón
Bloquear, boquear, bloquear
Y mejor sal a un bar