Who Are We, I Necked
Today marks the end of my life written into Virginia Law books
I now have 2 Life sentences and 28 years without a chance of Parole
Exposed to the world as relief from execution,
but today I’ve felt so emotionally necked
that my own tears burned my eyes
and my anxieties were so out of control that I felt like everyone could see me,
See me behind my emotional wall that I hide necked,
Fearful of showing my vulnerability
having built this wall to protect me
from the very judgments that destroy my inability to connect openly,
I was weighed down with one thought today
how do I do this?
How does anyone of us do this?
Life that’s given
whether birth into suffering or given millions that never seem to build character,
We are all emotionally necked in some form or another,
A blur of memories,
wondering how did I get so overwhelmed,
how did I become this person
who doesn’t deserve another chance at freedom,
I’ve laid awake asking myself
what does it mean to exist in a prison within an emotional prison?
I feel wholeheartedly I am more than all my failures,
Yet No one hears of the help I truly needed,
Being necked sucks
So I strive to cover it up as far as my exposed emotions
but how do you cover something so raw
that touching it with anything is a pain so real it colors my perspective of reality,
So I ask who can we be truly necked with in our everyday Lives?!
By Thomas Porter
Everything Thomas writes feels like it comes raw from his soul, you can sense what he’s going through, feel his pain and despair. Depression is very real in prison, and there’s little to no help. Redemption is also real, but in prison one is judged for the deed one did in the past, even if the present self is no longer part of his/her past self.
We all know that people are redeemable, but in prison no one seems to pay any attention to redemption. It’s as if we consider inmates a “different” breed of humanity, but the truth is that every single one of us has the capacity of violence when thoroughly provoked.
We are all rooting for the heroes in movies to kill the bad guy who is hurting them. “Yeah, good job!” “Finally” but in real life those people are called criminals.
We love watching the heist in Ocean 13, and it’s all OK, but in real life it wouldn’t be so funny and you wouldn’t have as much sympathy for the ones doing the heist.
Thomas is punished for what he did over 15 years ago. He is not the man he was back then, as you can see in his poems. He has paid enough for his crime. The man I write and speak to on the phone is kind, gentle, and he regrets what happened. He enjoys good conversations and he says he is always smiling when we talk on the phone. He wants a simple, quiet life.
No crime should go unpunished, but no redemption should be ignored either. If authorities still want to punish the man I just described, then they should take a good, long look in the mirror and ask themselves how they, in all honesty, can call themselves righteous and fair.
Thomas has paid hard for what he did, very hard. Let him go now.
Your past can judge and haunt you for the rest of your life this poem is deep and touching with real words. The darkest times in someone’s life could be in prison or even feeling like you are in a prison of your own mind. The poem speaks words that are touching to others, words of wisdom they wish they had known before.
Thank you for your comment!
So true, Lila! And I can cry because we all have dark sides inside us, and the authorities are so false, full of lies and betrayal. Look at the governments’ false-flag technique to start a war on innocent countries! Most people in top positions fall for huge money and are easily bribed.
So how can they judge others for their mistakes without giving them a second chance? Every person who does wrong is responsible for their wrongdoing and needs to be punished, but finally if they show regret, why do they keep them locked up. God says every sin is the same in His eyes; there is no difference according to God.
If we destroy the reputation of people, we are the same as a murderer before God! Sin is sin! Destroying the reputation of people is also murdering them. Forgiveness is what we all need, and we should give! I hope that Thomas will have the peaceful life he longs for!
You are spot on! How can they judge others for mistakes without giving them a second chance? True! Why have a “justice” system that is based on revenge and destroying families and not on redemption and forgiveness? Why not give them the necessary tools to fit into society again after release? So many why’s, and the authorities just keep on destroying families without any scruples, all to advance their careers. It’s sickening.
Thank you for your comment!