a woman sitting on the floor and staring out the window

It’s not Always you

It’s not Always you

By Thomas Alexander Porter

Most people find frustrated issues in others because they aren’t balanced within themselves. It’s my belief,  after 15 years of being housed alone facing execution, in the midst of this I’ve found pieces of my brokenness I valued and ultimately I cultivated healthier ways of dealing with people and situations.

I’ve found that most people have heavy issues within themselves and seek to feel better by creating arguments to numb themselves from the pains that color their perspective of what compassion truly is.

It's not Always you
Have you ever been in the company of someone and no matter what you do right they find something to complain about your character for? Yes, these are the people who see your energy as a light shined upon their misery that’s within the depths of their darkness,

I believe there’s a way to deal with these types. First we have to know ourselves right down to all we don’t show the world nor even the closest to us, and understand the Peace within Every Step you’ve built within yourself with this acknowledgment.


#Flaws Don’t Make You Ugly nor Weak!

Now, look wholeheartedly at others and think first you love them like we love ourselves and then in that same thought seek to see past the words spoken, whether they were unkind, spoken in ignorance, or in self-destructive behavior. At the root of them are the pains shown but misplaced nevertheless.

Now allow the light of Love to beat against the anger felt within, and acknowledge that it’s not you they’re mad at nor truly speaking to; it’s themselves! From there you should be able to hear tones of misery in words and see unkind actions within people who are disconnected with healthy reality of self towards others.

Please always give Love to the pieces that are whole within you. Let no one demolish the Light and Healthy Energies built within you to endure this world and the people in it. What’s truly inside ourselves is An Amazingly Created Love. ❤️

By Thomas A Porter

My Thoughts

When Thomas sent this to me my immediate thoughts were “this is so true, I have to share this.” It is too beautiful not to be shared.

Many people have found “fault” with me and have gone out of their way to hurt me but it was only because they were dealing with heavy issues and wanted to dim my light. I didn’t understand that as a child or even in my 20s and 30s, but I learned it in my 40s.

No one should dim your light. No one has the right.

I’m sure that many can relate and have gone through similar experiences. This is another reason why I wanted to share Thomas’s words.

I can’t love the people who hurt me – except for my family members who have caused me pain – and I certainly can’t feel love for my neighbor who bullied and harassed me for years but I forgave her a long time ago. I sometimes still feel pangs of anger, though, but despite that, I feel that I’m at peace.

Who is Thomas Porter?

Thomas Porter
Smiling despite his circumstances takes strength

If you are new to my blog and you don’t know who Thomas Porter is, then his first lines where he described how he faced execution for years may be a little startling.

Thomas is my prison pen pal and over the past year that we have been writing each other (and speaking on the phone when it’s possible) we have become friends.

He spent 15 years on death row until the death penalty in Virginia was abolished. After that, he was transferred to Red Onion, a super max prison in Virginia, despite having displayed good behavior for 15 years.

Although he did commit the crime all those years ago, he is no longer the man he was back then. I believe that most people are not the same as they were 15 years ago.

Thomas deeply regrets his actions and he even wrote a letter to the victim’s family. I only met him last year, in February 2021, so I know Thomas as the man he is today. I didn’t know him 15 years ago. The man today is kind, intelligent, spiritual, and funny. When you read his poems and essays you can look into his soul and judge for yourself. This is not someone who “belongs” in a super max prison like Red Onion …

As he just wrote, “Now allow the light of Love to beat against the anger felt within”

“Look wholeheartedly at others and think first you love them like we love ourselves”


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  1. A very good article. I like the fact that you highlighted that one needs to first know themselves before engaging with other. I know this is true because I have read my psychology books that say every person is a refection or extension of ourselves. so working on yourself is key.
    I also want to highlight that building healthy relationships is what is equally vital as it will help things better for yourself and growth.

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