Is it OK to be vulnerable, show our scars, and reveal the hurt child within? Thomas Porter shares his thoughts in a raw and heartfelt way, as only he can do. Being exposed to a world of vindictiveness, prejudice, and a lack of knowledge of the meaning of redemption, it is a world where even the smallest exposure of vulnerability might be considered “weak”.
However, I’d say that the ones who have the courage to show their sensitivity are braver than the ones who are bottling it all up. When you’re suppressing your emotions, one day you’ll reach a limit and it will all explode … Then, the bomb usually drops on someone who is undeserving of that outburst, on that particular someone who caused the tiny drop that spilled the bucket …
It’s OK to be Vulnerable
I sometimes wonder what our sensitive edges have to teach Us? I have the tendency to hide my vulnerability out of fear what people would think of me. I’ve hurt people who’ve already been hurt in similar ways like myself without knowing who myself even was.
So throughout my 14 years in circumstances that stripped everything from me, I’ve learnt to accept my exposed depths and teach myself to explore what could enable me to live more purposely, more mindful of this infinite changeability of the context of being more open to each other and towards ourselves …
My first acknowledgment of vulnerability is that we are all heavily scarred! So, throughout these scars I understand in some form or another that we are all Survivors!
My personal scars are shaped out of violence done against me and given out by me and throughout this behavior I got tagged by my watches, recognized as hopeless or a lost clause.
Yet now I ask healthy questions towards people and myself. Are my wounds the most convenient ways for anyone to know me? How did I go so many years letting my wounds shape how I actually see myself ..?
What I know now through friends and members of TeamStayStrong! & TeamStayHealthy! is that we all are still healing from something and we are not perfect, so this leaves room for improvements because what we have endured doesn’t mean we are done Living!
So let this world see that our scars aren’t all that we are and all that we want people to know of us by,
Our kinship towards ourselves and others should be about Healing! Letting the kindness, however small, be the start to love our scars and let Love be where we know one another, not hurt or wound one another out of selfishness or insecurities,
Vulnerability Is The New Healthy
By Thomas Porter
I think you have nailed on the “being vulnerable” topic. It is part of our personal growth and I wish many, many more of us could break through this barrier or fear, that is where transformation begins.
Hi Tania,
Thank you for your comment! It does take a lot of courage to break through this barrier of fear.
Reading through this piece, I’ve had to re evaluate what society defines as strength and how we all hopelessly struggle to confine with these norms.
Now I see there’s so much underrated strength in being open, and vulnerable. And there’s so much we give up in ourselves in trying to not be ‘weak’. The phrase ‘vulnerability is the new healthy’ has shed so much light on my hitherto held beliefs.
I agree so much with this, and I’m glad I found this when I did. An insightful post it is. Thank you!
Cheers,
Femi
Hi Femi,
It is so true that society defines strength in a way that makes us struggle to reach those expectations. It is taught in schools, at home, everywhere, “be strong”, “don’t cry now”, “get over it”, but bottling it all up can never lead to anything good. It just stores anger, sorrow, and frustration and one day it will explode.
Thomas can explain this so much better than I can 😉
Thank you for your comment!
Thank you so much for linking a page where we can see Thomas! I believe this is the second post I’ve read where you’ve highlighted him and it’s so good to put a face to the person behind the words. Vulnerability is not easy, but it’s essential. I love hearing his journey of finding his vulnerability. So many of us are raised to suppress it and then we form unhealthy coping habits and we have to reform our way of communication as adults. I could go on and on about the importance of vulnerability haha!
Another great post. Thank you so much for sharing your words and his.
Haley
Thank you, Haley! I’m glad you enjoyed this post. Thomas’s writing is amazing!
Society certainly dictates what is viewed as weak. Growing up when I did we were told, especially about boys and men, to not cry and to not show any emotion. Back then it was called being macho. I think it shows more courage and strength to “wear your heart on your sleeve”, to be empathetic, to be kind, and to treat others well. Yes it makes us more vulnerable but I think we would all be better off if more people were like this. I wish more people would learn from Thomas. Our world would be a much better place if we could all be more honest with our feelings and stand up for what is right rather than go along with what we know is wrong just because it’s what society and the majority think we should do. Great article!
Nina
Thank you, Nina. I absolutely agree!
“Let Love be where we know one another, not hurt or wound one another out of selfishness or insecurities.” Wise words!
It’s unfortunate that so many of us are carrying scars and deep-seated insecurities, and that this is the vibration we are putting out into the world. If instead, we approached all of our relationships and daily encounters with love, respect, and tolerance for others, the world would instantly become a much better place.
Fortunately, some long-standing attitudes are breaking down, and it is now a lot more acceptable than ever before for tough guys to show some vulnerability.
Thanks for sharing.
Hi Andrew,
True, some older attitudes are breaking down, not everywhere but it is coming. Real men show their vulnerability. I’ve always liked the lyrics of The Cure’s “Boys don’t Cry” since it expresses those thoughts.
Thanks for your comment!
I could not agree more with this! I think its required to be vulnerable to grow! Like you said its not easy! But I also know from personal experience its worth it. Nothing is permanent in this life, its all about growth. Ups And Downs, its what we take away from each experience. Very well explained by you!
Yes, it is required to be vulnerable to grow, that is spot on! I didn’t write this, however, Thomas Porter wrote this article 🙂
I just shared it for him.
Thanks for your comment!
Hi Christine,
These are touching and profound words written from within by Thomas Porter and I sincerely applaud him!!
We are often taught (through upbringing ) that being vulnerable is not acceptable – men more than women, but forgetting that we are all human. Everyone has a story but some choose to bottle it up because of ego and these type of norms thrust upon us by society. Vulnerability is, I think, a position of strength because you choose to break boundaries by acknowledging your weaknesses, showing that you too are human and sometimes reaching out for help. Bottling up pent up emotion is only a volcano waiting to erupt!. Vulnerability is certainly the new healthy…
Hi Ceci,
Very true, we are often taught that being vulnerable is not acceptable, but bottling it up only leads to an explosion, which is terrible for the one on the receiving end but also for the one exploding. I agree that it is strong – and not weak – to show our vulnerabilities.
Thank you for your comment!